Inner Peace

     We all have our demons, this much is true.  As of late, I realized I have terrible coping skills.  Be it celebration or mourning, I'm probably dranked and shakin' that.  Never underestimate the therapeutic qualities of dancing badly. 
     I recently entered the club scene, even a greasy dungeon can become a Shangri la of inner peace with the right crowd of dancing freaks.  I especially liked meeting Club Ke$ha last night, she was crrraaaaazzzayyyy!  As much as I am sure I would regret seeing myself cut loose on the dance floor with a giant-backcombed-haired, leather vest wearing party girl, it was nice to see someone who was far less of a crazy mess than me.

     There is something to be said for the powers of distraction.

     That's me after very begrudgingly being taken to a club to help out some of my girlies with a fundraiser, also about 6 hours after a painful breakup and a lot of alcohol.  At first the club was one of the last places on earth I wanted to be, but after meeting Club Ke$ha and losing my shit in a good way, for the first time in a long time, on the dance floor to Get Out Of Your Mind and Party Rock Anthem, everything seemed a lot less bleak.
     It was a pleasant contrast to the catatonic gaze that's been plastered on my face for the last few weeks in anticipation of impending doom.

     For once, I took some time and instead of over analyzing my problems and such, I rationalized with myself and let go.  Too bad I couldn't have figured that one out sooner, but the majority of important lessons are not easy or painless to learn.  I was literally floored for about 2 hours, overcome by emotions.

     Sometimes you just can't mull through it all alone.  My dear pal, shifu Reilly, shot air soft pistols with me by a mighty and roaring river while we smoked a cigar.  He was kind enough to listen and offer solace without slapping in some backhanded compliments ("you're only young and beautiful for a very short amount of time and you deserve to be wooed and made to feel like the most special and important person in the world while you are" thanks a bunch for those uplifting words mum).  Releasing the nasty realities that bore away at my soul decluttered my mind enough for me to feel somewhat refreshed.  I can honestly say I have not been that calm as long as I can remember.  As I walked down my driveway, it was apparent that I have my zen back, who knows if I had it before, or when it went away, but I have it now.

     Sniping inanimate objects does feel so damn good.