Ego Psychology

Oh hey, internet, long time no see.

oh.

wait.

That's completely my fault and I am a terrible person for my lack of time management.  Thankfully, for those of you left to care, I had a good little getaway last week and made some leisure time for drawing and thinking, so I should actually have some posts to share before I get caught up in the chaotic monotony of finishing a degree this fall.

Anyway, here's what we've all been waiting for, an actual post!

But first, have this song playing while you read the rest of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rq7aPbt-120

I did a Disney villains quiz on  Zimbio a while ago, (here's the link, I'm sure you're curious now too: http://www.zimbio.com/quiz/Yj_54KBJSTd/Which+Disney+Villain+Are+You )
see what you gone get.

     If you haven't figured out who I got yet, it was Gaston, from Beauty and the Beast.  It actually upset me for days upon days after.  The worst part is that because this classification bruised my ego so hard, it confirms that I am actually a lot like him.
     As Disney villains go, he's pretty innocuous.  He's overall very human and emotionally vulnerable, has no magical powers and doesn't kill or skin anyone.  He's vain, and hard headed, and holds a grudge.  Unfortunately this does sum me up pretty well.  Actually...pretty much on point right there.  I know it was just a quiz for fun, but it was kind of an horribly rude awakening in a way.  I'd have much rather received Cruella or Ursula or Jafar or something, at least they are fabulous. 

Cruella had fabulous hair too, I mean she did start the half dark half light trend that even the likes of Nicki Minaj got on board like last year.

I digress.

     I think what upsets me most is that Gaston is exactly the foil of what I find attractive in a man.  IMO, he's really fruggin' gross, all neck muscles and shiet.  I do like chest hair though.  And he does incorporate antlers into all of his interior decorating.

Oh what a guy, that Gaston.

     Upon closer inspection, I am probably a bit of an alpha female and I guess we can relate on that.  I would like to have lackeys that sing backup too; that would be neat, a real perk to being "evil".  Is it really so wrong to be sexy and know it?
     You know what?  He's confident, that's not such a bad thing.  Not to mention that he's romantically obsessed with success in love and finding the perfect life mate.  He sets his sights on what he wants and goes for it, perhaps not in the most romantic or appealing way, but he tried.  He did plan an entire wedding on his own in Provincial style with flair.  He's no valiant hero, but he's not bad as villains go.  Let's not forget that he was saving his unrequited love from a beast monster that was keeping her prisoner in an abandoned-looking castle.  From an outsider's perspective, it would have been very easy to misconstrue that whole situation.

Upon closer inspection, I have decided it is not so bad to be most like Gaston than any other Disney villains.  Hopefully I'll never be roughly the size of a barge, so I'm going to try to let this go.

It has literally been 4 months with this in the back of my mind as a source of disgust with myself and the universe.  I suppose I am pretty stubborn too.  That was some good catharsis.

Some damn good catharsis.