Saturday, 29 October 2011

Festive Greetings

     Happy Halloween Errbody!  New holiday post is a-brewin', just have to complete round two of Halloweekend!  Get buckwild tonight and make me proud!
Lots of Festive Love,
                                 Thing of Stuff

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Theme Parks

     I went on an upside down ride for the very first time on Friday.  It was AMAZING!  Not so much because of the churning of my alcohol infused stomach contents, but the fact that I did not ralph everywhere made my night.  As a child, I was plagued by ear infections and one such ailment had a rapid onset during our family flight to Ontario when I was a wee lass of 5.  My eardrum perforated and I've been a clumsy oaf ever since.  Seriously, elevators give me wicked vertigo.  Balance is not my forte.
     Anyway, our local fairgrounds puts on a mega spooky fun time event with haunted houses and people dressed up with fake chainsaws and such.  After years of vowing to go, my crew finally ponied up the $30 with no regrets.  I have to admit, I was pretty nervous about this festive endeavour though.
     Thankfully, no pants were peed in the enjoyment of this night.  I really don't like clowns.  Despite their decent makeup and my level of intoxication, the creepy clowns did not get to me as much as I thought they would.  I did discovered the secret to defeating the vile cretins.
     There is a strict rule that the carnival workers cannot touch the fair-goers, and we cannot touch them, or the props.  I most certainly did not abide by those...guidelines.  After a lot of Dukes of Hazard-style rolling across wooden beds and sitting on gory human props, it was time for a more scenic ride.
     I'm not sure where exactly I was planning on going with this, but we were on the Ferris wheel.  It was late when I drew this one, hokay?  While we were waiting in line for this beautiful ride, we made a new friend.
     Oh hey plastic bat missing one fang, you didn't end up in a back pack.  That would be crazy.  Dang teenagers.
     That whole night, I was rockin' out to some mental Wallpaper and butchering the lyrics due to my genuine, jacked-up, fantastic disposition.
     One of my dreams and expectations for the theme park was that there would be churros.  Oh child, there were.  Words cannot describe the happiness in my chipmunk face as I nibbled the sugar coated pastry snack like some kind of beaming vermin.  Churros are such a seasonal treat to me; they are a total Halloween food.  Only at the Ghost Train have I indulged in the sweet Latin-American snack.  Pure delight.
     Sadly, once again home time rolled around.  We bounced off to the bus stop, our hearts full of glee and our tummies starting to settle after all that activity and excitement.  Huddling together on the small bench was the only way to make it through waiting for the bus in the brisk October night.  We left our bat buddy hanging at the bus shelter as a spooky surprise for a bleary eyed homeless person to find when they curled up on the bench for a rest.
     Finally the last bus, windows foggy with the breath of many a last call's beer, came to transport our sweet starry-eyed selves back across the water to our warm nests.  As much as I despise cold, I do love Autumn and the beautiful colours, warm hearths, and sleepy days it brings.

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Public Displays of Idiocy

     Lately, I've been forgetting I am in public.  Hilarious?  Yes.  Practical?  No.  A few weeks ago, I was walking home from my bus stop after dark.  There was no one behind me and no one coming towards me.  I took the appropriate vigilant measures to make sure not to act like a freak in front of other humans.
     Dearest reader, I have a confession to make.  I love white rapper music(also sometimes legit rap music by serious rappists, but mostly gag-rap by men with troubled pasts and mock cocaine addictions).  The pinnacle of this love affair with white rappers is the one and only, Dirt Nasty.
     He had just released the teaser for his new side project with an electro guy, and they made a sick new track with Don't You Want Me Baby as the chorus.  IRL, I got dis cray memory for unimportant facts and song lyrics(especially 90's cartoon theme songs), it never ceases to amaze people.
     Dropping rhymes like a bar of soap in a maximum security prison with a high rate of deprivation homosexuality,  I got so into the song.  Headphones blaring the bumpin' beats, nothing was stopping me from whipping out the rap hands and flailing them like nobody's buisness whist bobbing my head like a real thug missus.  I was mortified when a dad, with a baby in a Snugly, materialized from behind a car.
     I avoided eye contact, waited till it was appropriate to begin flapping around again, and booked it home with a giant smile on my face and the reddest cheeks the night has ever seen.
     Later that week, I waved fervently at a guy I didn't know at all.  Things I had to ask myself after I started talking out loud to him while sitting alone on on the bus and making far too exaggerated facial expressions through the glass at him were, "why is he in the passenger seat of his own car?  Why is this not his license plate?" and most importantly, "why does he only vaguely resemble what he is supposed to look like?".  Good job lady, at least no one sat with you for the rest of the bus ride.   In my defence, he got really excited and waved back too.
     I managed to embarrass myself further over the next weeks by describing a professor's luscious auburn beard.  Going into full detail how it is at that magical state when it becomes soft and luxurious to touch with the perfect ratio of length to fullness.  Turns out he decided to walk by I was saying all this with passion and conviction.  Friends laughing hysterically, my face so flushed it felt like my skin would melt off, and the professor probably extremely flattered and creeped out, a grand time was had by all. Thankfully, he is my friend's former professor, and I don't plan on taking any history classes so I think we're golden.

Friday, 14 October 2011

It's Over 1000!

     What a monuments occasion!  I want to thank all of you for lurking this blog, especially those of you who have passed it on.  Last night, we breached 1000 views, it may not seem impressive to those who know what they're doing, but to me it is amazing.  I thought four of my friends would read this a few times and that would be it.  Thanks to all the international viewers from countries I can only dream of visiting one day.  Also, my apologies to the Romanian who Google image searched "university gang bang 6" and got taken to my blog.
     Here's to having many more adventures, dreams coming true, and wearing plastic dinosaur safari hats into night clubs.

Thursday, 13 October 2011


     Holy jeeze you guys, have I ever been fiending for blogging like a crack ho!  I've been so caught up with school and being a weirdo and another fit of psychologically detrimental decisions that my one true love got shafted.  I am such a private drama queen sometimes.  I won't expose the inner workings of my stupid personal life, but I was a messy mess a few days ago but I haven't had time to even draw because it's midterm season once again.
     Three nights ago, I couldn't resist any longer.  In a fit of despair, I curled into my emo corner (yes, dear reader, I do in fact have an emo corner for those truly horrific times when I'm so overwhelmed all I can do is sit on the long carpet and wait out the onslaught of lachrymose self dialogue).
     I am only putting these drawings up because I find it hilarious how much my mood can affect my style.  Please understand that this is not normally what I'm like in daily life or, if you're joining me here for the first time, what my posts are normally like.  Seriously, I just have to post something before the month is over.
Enjoy guys! 
      Meet my friend, Self-Confidence Bird.  He tells me exactly what I need to hear with no holds bars when I'm kidding myself.  Also, he is a button.
     For the good of the world, y'alls don't need to see that sad ramble in its entirety.
     Please excuse me while I look forlornly out my window and listen to the lonely sounds of cars driving away.
     I almost never wear hoodies, it's just not how I roll.  There was just too much angst for me to not wear a hood.
     Tears always make me think of Howl's Moving Castle, one of my favourite Studio Ghibli movies.  There is one scene where the female protagonist is coming back from the past and she starts crying these outrageously huge tears.  I've noticed them use huge, bulging tears in Spirited Away too, it must be a magical Japanese thing.
     Monday night, I knew this was exactly what was going to happen Tuesday night.  I've heard that hearts can never fail, never change.  But I've also heard that changing hearts are the one thing you can count on.  Who knows?  I've come to expect weird things in my life, even the best from people...occasionally.
     I swear the next post will be fun and charming.