Monday, 11 February 2013

Dat Bitch

I've noticed something in my time here on Earth, there are specific, innocuous, generic pretty girl names.  We all know Britney-s.

We all know Ashley-s.
We all are beginning to experience the wrath of Cadence-s. (It seems like pretentious waspy names are totally in vogue in the States.  Eden, Cadence and Kennedy are so the new Aubrey and Ava)  I have learned so much about child name trends from Toddlers and Tiaras and it's really creepy to see them permeating Canadian families.

But I am here to talk about Emily-s.  Generic nice girl name, what can I say.  I can list 7 off the top of my head just in my grad class and extended same age friend base.  They are all nice.  They are all pretty.

Let us consider the evidence from the media.
I give you Emily the Tugboat.  Check out her friendly smile, big eyes, nicely arched brows and playful bucket hat.

taken from:

Flippin Emily from Arthur.  If anyone can put up with D.W., they are a freaking saint, even if she can be a snob at times.
Taken from:

Hi, I'm Rachel Bilson and I somehow survive on the ABCDEdiet but must poop all the time and am a tiny woman child and all the boys wanna take a turn with this small town rural TV doctor.  That statement would be correct if she actually was Emily Owens M.D., but she isn't, she's Hart of Dixie, but I don't really care.  Her name isn't even Emily in her show, I got the two mixed up because they are both lady doctors on TV, oh well.  I just had a hankering to political cartoon detail her huge, beady head and tiny frame.

I wish I was classically beautiful, goddamn it.

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