Dreams, finally!

     If you look in the notes on my iPod touch, there are only dreams and really important quotes from silly adventures.  Today, let us begin the wild journey into my subconscious (actually I believe in Day Residue and random nerve firings while in REM sleep, but you're here for entertainment not a psychology lecture).
     My drawing abilities are a little rusty right now, so bear with me, and we'll get through this.  Thank glob for 4 day weekends next semester.
     A few nights ago, I dreamt that I was hosting a tonne of people at my family cabin.  There was a property beside ours for sale so we went over to check it out.  Equipped with a full on beach house sleeping cabin and separate boardwalk toilet, I decided to see if it had indoor plumbing.  There was a cat inside the little out-housey structure so I gave it a scritch then dropped trow to tinkle.  In real life, I would never, ever, ever pet a wild, flea and tick ridden cat then touch my junk area, but it's a dream and anything can happen.  And that was certainly the truth.  The toilet had one of those chain dangling flusher pulls, so I had to take advantage of that because I've never used one before.  To my horror, as I stood up to pull my undies and pants up, I had a spongy set of male genitalia.   

     Possibly an even more strange turn of events, the cat I had been petting came out of the toilet.

 

     It told me that it was an ancient demon, but I was pretty pissed off that it gave me a D after petting it and saying nice things to it.  I didn't even call it a pussy.  

     Adjusting to my possibly fake, non-function man parts was really challenging.  The texture was like stress ball material, and was definitely not human skin, or even part of my body. I tried tucking it between my legs, but that made walking really uncomfortable. 

I gave up and put my shorts back on, if anyone notices, maybe the sorcery would go away.  

 

     The terror disappeared from my unnatural package and I returned to my friends, a make-shift Scooby Doo Mystery Team, complete with Chris Hemsworth as Fred.

      Don't get me wrong, Chris Hemsworth is a wicked hunk, no lie.  I just just felt like drawing a derpy version of him for fun. Anyway, I think I had woman-parts again because we went swimming and my bathing suit fit fine and I wasn't embarrassed of my gender ambiguity.
    
     The take-home message from this dream is that I have NEVER, EVER had such a vivid dream about junk before.  Hopefully I haven't scared anyone for life.  It was just so strange.  Here's one more piece of uncomfortable fun to round out the post!

    Future dreams will be waaaaaaaaaaaay less vulgar, I promise! 

Boob Physics

     I know, I know, I keep procrastinating.  I have another modelling gig coming up so I'm working out all the time and have been watching another anime so my free time keeps disappearing (also it's Halloweekend so what else do you expect from me?).  The transition from fall to winter is beginning round these parts so I find myself falling asleep at strange times and screwing myself over productivity-wise.
     Anyway, this anime I'm watching reminded me of something worth pondering, in what universe do ladies have tiny frames and HUGE boobs?  We could go into great depths at the unrealistic standards portrayed in anime, but who really gives a fuck.  It's the physics of boobs in anime that gets me.  The semi-overt movement of breasts during mundane tasks does liven up the show, but as a lady with lady parts, I certainly don't see them in that extent of constant movement.

     Some days, I swear, the gravity of boobs changes.  Different undergarments have different effects too, but there is something else.  Boobies, such an enigma.

I'll be straight with you guys, I'm not sure what I can accomplish over the next few weeks.  Hopefully I can get some drawing done soon, it really is leaving a void in my life without it, but I know this is just a temporary state and I hope to be quirking the internest up again soon....sooooooooon.

Dreams

     I have decided to turn the focus of of this blog onto my dreams for a bit.  Not the lofty goals which keep me awake and smiling at night, but the kind that wake me up at 4am wondering how the random firing at my synapses created the image of a 32 year old Skeletor woman with a tonne of tattoos in a sheer dress sitting on the arm of a couch, and I can only see her from behind and she had an absurdly exaggerated butt cleft that was dirty and soiled but she is somehow, at the same time a guy really important to me. 
     Anyway, one run on sentence later, I can tell you that I've been keeping a log of my most outlandish dreams for the last 3 years.  Illustrations are a must.  Enjoy!

Midterms

     Today, I realized I am over half way done my degree.  I am not a teenager any more.  I am not dating someone that is still a teenager.  I'm still working a dead-end job I've had since I was a teenager, but that is neither here nor there.  Life is pretty flippin' sweet.  Things are happening that are making me very excited for the next 7 years.
     The best part, I decided in the shower, is the interesting people I've met over the last 3 years.  University really is the best way to meet new, smart, interesting people, even if it's totally in passing and by chance.
    In two hours, I have my last midterm.  I have never been so excited for the weekend.  I had a midterm and hour ago, that is also important to know.  It's going to be a rough day, because I'm a paid subject in a synesthesia study at 6pm tonight till 8pm, and I'll be done my multiple choice midterm probably by 3:30.  Oh well, Feast for Crows will keep me company and there's only about 200 pages left.  Time to demolish that.
     Anyway, I've been neglecting this blog again, but putting a lot into my life, so hopefully you can forgive me. 

making my dreams come true and shit!

(I'll add pictures this weekend, I promise.  There are going to be some GNARLY hangovers in the next few days so quietly drawing will be a welcome change.)

How do I make GIFs gently

When one of my boyfriend's ex's likes his shit on facebook.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJjveSgAJrc

I wish I was technologically advanced enough to make GIFs.  Legit post this weekend!

The Things I Do for Love

     I've always wanted to make a bento box for a special boy.  If you are unaware of the Japanese tradition, a girl makes a bento for her paramour to show her affection and cookery skills (don't worry, we don't all watch anime, we can still be friends).  Anyway, I've been wanting to try making a cake pop based desert for a while, and had just bought an adorable dinosaur container so here's what I came up with!

Cute, huh?  I honestly wanted to curl up and cry by the time I was finished.  It was more than 8 nerve racking hours over 2 days, but it turned out exactly as I'd hoped.  Except that the  salmon sashimi was next to impossible to dip in chocolate.

Here we are before the dreaded melting chocolate dripping.

     Yes'm, that is tempura shrimp make out of cake, chocolate, and Rice Crispies. Their stupid tails kept coming off in the chocolate so I did have to doctor a few attempts together.  For a girl that can never eat shrimp, they look pretty good.

     This is the sweet face of victory.  Savour it people.  I think I'll stick to cup cakes from here on out.

Ring in the New Year

And so school began,

and so I quickly contracted a sinus infection.

     Public transportation owes me at least a month of my life back from being debilitated by illness.  I even passed up boxing this morning in hopes of not making my ailment worse.  Granted, as soon as I felt a tickle in the back of my throat, I should have known. 
     Last night, we celebrated my best friend's girl friend's birthday.  The night started out well, but Tim and I left in search of cheaper liquor and we were denied re-entry without paying cover (we were harsh duped by the earlier shift of bouncers).  While we sipped our Jack and colas behind a truck container, my congestion got worse and worse; however, I was enjoying buzzed chatting with my fine male companion so I tried to ignore it.  It wasn't a very well crafted ruse.

     Busing home was by far the worst part of the night.  Trying with all my might to ignore the river of salinated sebum waiting to run just inside my face, I somehow managed to get home without him seeing my dolled up face deteriorate right before a bus full of stranger's eyes.

     I just looked dranked and droopy for a time, but I couldn't fight it anymore.

     It was shoes off, straight running time when I got far away from any traces of intelligent, judgmental life.  I may have also peed at my neighbours'  fence, but that's not the first time.  Sadly, the night was far from over.  Despite taking copious amounts of night time sinus meds and some Dimetapp a few hours later, sleep did not come easily due to all the post-nasal drip a sinus infection entails.  Only my left nostril was leaking like an old faucet, so I turned to a trusty method of flow control.

Thankfully, I have yet to have the T.P. get stuck in my nose while sleeping, I pray tonight I don't wake up dead.