This post has been in the works for a few days now. You see, I haven't been sleeping much lately. Maybe it's because I insist on sleeping with 2 quilts and it is still far too hot even with a fan blasting. I simply cannot turn my brain off. My mind is a swirling tempest of "should have's" and "what now's".
As much as I am a woman of science, I love the metaphysical possibilities of existence. Attempts to divert my mind through late night consults with my cards and studying birthday interpretation manuals provide temporary relief; however, I still can't get to sleep before 2:30am at the earliest.
I awoke with a jolt at 5am, heart pounding, head swimming, and gasping for air. All I could do was lay there, because as always, I just couldn't turn my brain off. I drifted in and out of sleep the rest of the morning because I knew I had time to kill before I had to get up for work.
I hate contemplating what to do from my cozy nest. I feel so powerless and as if I am wasting a sacred resource. Honestly, what good can I really do from a horizontal position at six in the morning and no make up on? Nothing, except feeble text messages and Facebook lurking.
Jumping round in time here, combating the mounting insanity ensuing from this sleeplessness, I had to blow off a friend's gig because my best pals organized a mad chill sesh to cheer me up. It worked really well, but again, a few minutes of delicious drunk sleep then I lay wide awake for hours. The initial cause of this insomnia doesn't feel like a problem compared to having the blurred vision of a raging alcoholic at 11:30am at school due to exhaustion.
I have the best friends ever.