Monday, 5 September 2011

Scabby Knees

     And so marks the last day of my first four month summer.  What a treacherous wonderland of laughs, tears, and  personal growth.  Last Friday, some crazy shieeeeet went down, not just shit, but shiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeet.  As I don't think the internet needs to have in depth details of my conundrums, I will present to you a few illustrations.
     At first I was horrified, but didn't have a panic attack for once!  Something magical had occurred over the last few months, I took my head out of my butt and started behaving like a normal-ish human with appropriate coping skills.  Maybe the flask of vodka helped too, who knows?  Either way, in the beginning of the week everybody was upset, especially me because feelings are weird and stupid and confusing sometimes, even more so when other people are involved.
     Then something else amazing happened, I just went with the flow.  No solid plan, acts totally defying logic, words pouring out my mouth without meticulous pre-planning.
     And so I did.  And life is chill.  AND SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW!  Please excuse my nerd-citement, you can take the nerd out of school, but you can never take the school out of the nerd.  Aside from the complicated interpersonal drama this last week and a bit, I went camping with my best pals and there has been a lot of going out before school starts.  Translation: getting dranked preee much errr day.  It's been sweet, Summer.
     This Friday that just happened, we went to a great rager of a party and I got to see some fun friends I hadn't seen in quite the while.  Including my pal, Tanzil.  Whenever I see her (we've always been partying) she tells me she reads this blog.  She has a blog too.  This is the link, even though I didn't ask if I could put it up, I'm doing it anyway.  Free publicity, who doesn't want it?  I know, right? 
     Silly drunk yelling aside, that party also freaked the hell out of me.  There was a meat head fight and I got super duper scared.  I wrapped myself in a curtain to protect myself from the sweaty, muscly beasts with copious amounts of testosterone coursing through their man-veins.
     After the fight had settled down for a bit, I walked through the scene of the brawl to fill up ma cup, mazel tov.  To my horror, there was blood splattered all over the wall and on the biscuit beige carpet.  I kept yelling "HEPATITIS, HEPATITIS!  THEY ARE GOING TO SPREAD HEPATITIS!  I NEED TO GET MY HAND SANITIZER!" I'm lucky they didn't grind my face into a gelatinous mass of disfigurement.  the fight got moved outside and it looked like many more chaps were involved this round.  This time I kept yelling, "COUNT BACKWARDS FROM TEN AND THINK OF A WHALE WITH AN EYE PATCH!  ISN'T IT ADORABLE?!?!"
     See what I mean?  Isn't it jus da cutest thing to fare da seven seas?  Only a monster would still want to crush skulls after splish splashing with a friendly pirate whale.
     Anger management skills aside, this has been the drunkiest, raunchiest, most emotionally taxing, and most unpredictable summer of my life.  Thanks to everyone that has been a part of it, even the ookie stuff.  Here's to many more adventures to come as we venture into the fall season!


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